OF SNIPERS & SUBSCRIPTIONS...

#rip Chris-WE LOVE YOU

So American Sniper the Movie is out in theaters today, and American Sniper the book (Memorial Edition) is on my nite stand and I've only made it to the Chapter where they just assigned Chris to be a Sniper. Gasp if I am going to watch this movie by Monday, I have to become a hermit over the weekend. Bye bye visit to Anthropologie. Anyway today driving to work , I couldn't help thinking about how torn Chris must have been between being a Seal / sniper & hanging on to his relationship with his wife and kids.
It put into perspective to me , how my husband also struggled between a hobby of race car driving & his nagging wife and newborn.
Now I totally get it, but when he told me he was going to CA , I was upset, was pacing and we really really needed him to stay put. But just like Chris it was his calling and it was freaking strong, so strong that he died 3000 miles away from us. Alone.
How many things did we miss out, how many kids we could have had, how many more memories we could have , should have had. I notice I live with tons of anger because of all this frustration. That someone had to die at 38. I know exactly what Taya went / is going through. Don't forget Chris died early 2013,  my hubby died 10 years earlier. But it doesn't get easier. I just couldn't speak, stand up and speak before an audience, I couldn't even stand on my 2 feet when ppl were coming over to give me condolences.
To this day , I still believe I wouldn't have that strength. I'm proud of her , that she could get up there and say such a beautiful eulogy.
Yesterday, I fell in love, with a Quarterly Magazine!! @LaphamsQuart . Lapham's Quarterly is amazing, so many subjects that I am interested in. What caught my eye was a tweet regarding manuscripts actually medieval manuscripts and how the poor monks would write side notes
of weak ink and frigid hands. I have always been a huge fan of manuscripts , I remember visiting the Getty Museum in Santa Monica, California and walked straight into a Manuscript exhibit, of course nobody wanted to go in there with me. Boring, and rolling eyes is what I get from my party. But I love it. Of course I will want to subscribe and get every single back issue. Cause I'm anal like that. Actually there is a phobia / name for what I have: the fear of running out of reading material. Yep.
Also, yesterday I came across a wonderful new tweep! I totally recommend you guys subscribe to her You Tube Channel as well as follow her! Shout out to>> @pradaliz731_liz and her You Tube channel>> 4halex
 Tomorrow I signed up for a Boxing class at 10 a.m. I totally respect boxers, love their discipline, their reflex, it just a total body work-out. Of course , I will be totally exhausted after walking 6 miles, 2 strengh training classes back to back. Meaning 4 times this week I've worked out and with tomorrow that 5. Because I am on a quest to lose those stubborn 40 lbs. Will probably write about my gym chronicles progress on my next blog.

#rip Bill-WE LOVE YOU

xo @latinabug_nj